Thursday, March 4, 2010

I am a force to be reckoned with!!

The following quote has had an impact on my life that is difficult to put into words. Please read it and then see my comments below.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

I had a HUGE revelation last week. I realized that "shrinking" is what I have done for YEARS!! I felt like God was telling me that "I am a force to be reckoned with!". But I wasn't getting it. I've contemplated on this quote and have realized that because I have the strength of empathy, I shrink around others because I don't want people to feel bad. I am somewhat drawn to people who are insecure and want to help them. But then I don't want to show my own confidence for fear that they will feel worse about themselves.

Wow! What a revelation!! I think that we need to be who we are! I think it would help others to be who they are! Can you tell I am excited? I just know that this is a pivotal revelation! I am finally free to be myself and help others along the way.

Let's stop being who we think others want us to be and just be ourselves!!!! Are YOU a force to be reckoned with? I think you most definitely are!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Get off my bumper!!

This morning, I was driving to my destination and the person was just riding my bumper! I was already going over the speed limit so I didn't feel like I needed to move out of their way. They could just go around, right? Well, about 5 cars went around the car that was tailgating me and once they all got out from behind that guy, he stopped riding my bumper!

Isn't that just how it is in life? I realized that he looked at what was in front of him and couldn't go anywhere. All the people behind him were coming up so fast that he felt like he had to do something but he was stuck. Sometimes we just get stuck in the moment and since we don't know how to move forward, we just let the memories of all that is behind us overtake us. What if we just enjoyed where we were at right then? The past is the past and even when you don't know what your future holds, you can take a deep breath and enjoy the "right now". As everyone else rides your bumper, gets stressed out and heads out into the unknown. You will be just sitting there enjoying THIS moment!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Live while you still have some living to do!!

I used to be a manicurist. When my mom was dying, she asked me if I would make sure her hands and feet looked nice before she died. Of course I said yes. But in my mind I thought that if I did that, she would die. That it would just signal the end. I was in such denial about what was going on in my life and what was about to take place. So needless to say, I didn't do it. I'll never forget the night she was taking her last breaths. When she finally breathed that very last breath I immediately went into a panic because I had not done what she had asked me to do. I grabbed my stuff right at that very moment and did what I had promised.

I am not a free spirit in any way. I am very calm and reserved. You will never find me out acting any other age than my own! I didn't grow up around little kid's really. I always hung out with adults it seemed like. I will however do something totally random at times just to crack my kid's up. But that doesn't happen very often.

A couple of days ago, it snowed more than I have ever seen it snow in my entire life. The kid's had a snow day and it was the perfect snow for building an awesome snow man. During the day someone who I know who has lost her husband, told me to go play in the snow with my kid's and have a snow ball fight. I was instantly reminded of waiting until my mom died to do her nails like she had asked me to. I came home and we watched it snow, I let them play in the snow even though they got tons of towels and clothes all dirty as well as my floors. The next morning we got up and we made a big snow man together and we went for a walk down to the pond, we attempted to go sledding. We built a nice fire and all watched movies and slept in the living room together. The next day after that we did the same thing when their dad came home. Doing this was WAY out of my comfort zone. But it felt awesome!

It was great to have stepped out and done something that mattered. So I said all that to say, don't wait until there is no time left and all opportunities have passed you by before you do the things that really matter! Things that will be remembered many years after you are no longer on this earth! Live while you still have some living to do!!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

World of Comparisons

One of my favorite magazines is Consumer Reports. They do all the comparing for you and everyone trusts them. If it is listed as very good in that magazine, people will buy it and they will even sell out of that product at times. If they give a car or a product a poor rating, that is not at all good for the company who made it.

It is so easy in this day and age to compare before you buy. You can do your research on the internet, ask other people, look in Consumer Reports, etc. We shop and compare for the best car. We look in the Sunday paper and look through the adds to find the best deals. We ask for referrals so we can find the best doctors, hair dressers, chiropractors and the list goes on and on. And then there is Miss America and Miss USA. Searching for that perfect woman with the best hair, best eyes, best body, best personality.

I am starting to think that we would be much more at peace in our minds if we did this same comparing with our thoughts. When we have a thought that tells us we aren't good at something, we aren't pretty enough, skinny enough, perfect enough, smart enough, we should compare that thought with some of our good thoughts. Compare them to what God's word says. Even saying it out loud helps us to know if we really want to keep that thought.

Just like when comparison shopping. When we are shopping and we find out something has a poor review, we don't even think twice about it. There is no way we would go buy it and spend money on it. So, we shouldn't even give crazy thoughts any extra time to stay in our minds. And believe me when I say that I am preaching to the choir!!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Fatherless Daughters Whose Fathers Are Living PART 2

The word "Father" brings up many different feelings and emotions for different people. Some people might feel happy, have wonderful memories, feel security and cared for deeply. Others might have lost their fathers and have great memories and experience deep sorrow and sadness thinking about them. Then, there are those of us who hear the word "Father" and it brings up very different feelings. Feelings that we don't like to deal with. Feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, disappointment, bitterness and on and on.

In a fairy tale world but yet maybe in the life of many, fathers provide for their children. Fathers spend time with their children and build them up and encourage them. They take their daughters on dates and teach them how a man should properly treat a woman. But this was not my reality. I could spend eternity telling you my sad story about the experiences I have had but instead I will tell you how I overcame and became a victor instead of a victim.

I went to Tres Dias back in October. During that weekend, there was a man there and every time I looked at him or heard him speak, I wondered what it would have been like to have had a dad like this man. I said to myself "Why couldn't I have had a dad like him?" During that weekend, there were many, many men who gathered around all of us women and serenaded us. In that moment, I felt secure. I felt protected and loved and truly cared for by all of these strangers. I realized that I have always allowed and welcomed women in my life to fill the void of not having my mom here. But it never occurred to me that God has been trying for years to fill this void of not having a good father in my life with good solid Christian men!

Honestly, this experience set me free. I realized that I had a limiting belief that ALL men were like my father and would let me down in one way or another. I also believed that the God I serve was the same way. I saw that I was rejecting father figures and I was rejecting my God. Since then I have been open to letting the men in my life fill this void and it has been incredible. This HUGE hole in my heart may not be filled but it sure is a heck of a lot smaller!!

The biggest thing I let go of that weekend was the guilt of not having a relationship with my earthly father. When I let that go and turned it all over to my heavenly Father, I had the biggest release I think I have ever experienced. My life has definitely not been the same. I hope you can do this too if this is something you have experienced. I would love to hear your thoughts on this and help you in any way I can work through your own "Father wound". I think we all have them. Some just more than others.

What is YOUR limiting belief when it comes to your father? Will you let it consume the rest of your life or will you step out in faith and let God fill this void once and for all and be all that HE wants to be for you in your life?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Fatherless Daughters Whose Fathers Are Living

Fatherless Daughters PART 1

Here are some statistics on fatherless daughters.

53% are more likely to marry as teenagers

111% are more likely to have children as teenagers

164% are more likely to have an out of wedlock birth

92% higher divorce rate (32% higher for sons)

I fall in ALL of the above categories. I did marry as a teenager, I did have a child as a teenager, it was out of wedlock and I also divorced. I spent years searching for in a man what I never got from my earthly father. Therefore, I had a huge void in my life but didn't even know what I was looking for.

I feel that we are created with a longing to know our heavenly father. Regardless of the decisions we make in our lives, I think we will search to find something that can fill that void until we let God fill it. And if we don't let God fill it, we will continue searching relentlessly for it.

I lost my mom when I was 23 years old and she was one amazing, incredible woman. In the last 17 years since her death, God has put so many women in my life that help to fill the void of not having my mom. I have willingly accepted and welcomed this. It makes the times when I miss her terribly so much easier to handle. However, when it comes to men, I would rather die than depend on one to fill this void. Due to having this mentality, I have spent my life looking at my heavenly father the same way as I look at my earthly father. I have felt that I cannot depend on God, I cannot trust Him, I never know when he will come through and I definitely can't go to Him for answers or comfort. This has created some real difficulty in my life.

I spent my life expecting my dad to be something he will never ever be. I basically had extreme unrealistic expectations. This created in me anger, bitterness, resentment and many other things that I have had to overcome. I've been on a journey. I've traveled the road of the broken heart for over 30 years. I've searched for so many things in my life to make the pain of not having my dad around subside. It wasn't until I went to something called "Tres Dias" that my life completely changed in this area. I can't wait to share it with you in Part 2.

Monday, January 11, 2010


No, not the drinking and partying "Wasted". This is a very different kind but maybe has some of the same similarities in the consequences. About 3 years or so ago my husband got a major pay cut. We went to see a financial advisor at the church we attended. Now, I use the program "Money" to balance my checking account and that is about it.

One of the first things he had me do was go through that program and figure out how much money we had been spending in every catagory such as groceries, gas, entertainment, etc. I didn't even realize you could do this! Being the detailed person that I am, I was so excited. Excited until I pulled up the "Dining Out" category. I looked at what we had spent over the last 12 months in this area and thought to myself that there just had to be a mistake. I ran the report several times and still came up with the same figure. I was down right embarrassed. I was in shock! I was in utter disbelief.

I thought back to the situations that had come up over the past year. People who I know needed help financially but I thought we couldn't afford to help them. People who were hurting, who could have used a little boost in their lives. It was humbling to say the very least. Since then, we don't go out to eat much. Don't get me wrong, we do go out to eat. But it is in the budget!

I have been pondering on this for the past couple of weeks. I wonder if we had some kind of program that kept up with the hours, days, weeks, months that we have spent over the last 12 months worrying, doubting, fretting, gossiping, living in fear, what would the tally be? Even scarier, what if we could calculate that for our entire life time?

I know for a fact that I have wasted a HUGE amount of time on being stressed about things and worrying. I just don't want to get to the end and look back and see how many awesome things I missed. How many precious moments have I missed with my daughters? Better yet, how many precious moments have been totally WASTED because of my own junk!! I don't know about you but I think that if we were to consciously pay close attention to this our lives would be drastically changed.

Remember, "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change"

So if we could just change the way we look at these things in particular, we could enjoy so much more of our lives and I bet we would even be more of a joy to be around. SO, join me in committing to STOP WASTING TIME on things that don't matter!!